The Burger Families!

This pic has nothing to do with this blog. I just found it funny

I am back, with some more sarcasm, some more thoughts on everything that’s wrong with this world. Most of you would revert back, labeling me as perhaps the only thing that’s wrong with this world. For all those people, seriously guys, I don’t give a fuck.  Trust me; I have encountered more fuckers than the number of chicks you guys have letched at during your entire stay on this fucked up planet. And it’s because of you fuckers, that I have realized not to give a fuck anymore. Period!

Forget the fuckers; let’s get back to the topic of this blog entry.The Burger Families is a tribute to the affluent, modern families residing in the so called metros of India. This entire generation has learnt to live on Pizza Huts and Mc Donald’s, feasting on Burgers, Pizzas and French fries. Typically, a burger family consists of a middle aged father, his middle aged wife and two spoilt kids, preferably a daughter and a son. Probably, the only thing positive about a burger family is their adherence to the Indian Government’s theme of  Ham do Hamare do. I am still unsure whether that helped in boosting the nationwide sales of Nirodh, but that’s a totally unrelated topic.

Flaunting your riches is probably the one thing the Burger Families love to do. Travel to any posh location in Delhi, and you would realize why the BJP government came up with the slogan India Shining while still, 30% of the population strived hard for a two time meal. Right from a Tissot watch, to a Blackberry and finally to a Mercedes Benz, the food remains undigested in the intestines if you are stupid enough not to show off. Probably, the reason behind why you would find the husband taking calls on his blackberry even while pooping, pretending to be even busier than that President Obama.

The middle aged wife has nothing to do, except to bitch around when the husband goes out to work. Kitty party is just a sophisticated term used for this bitching. The other day I was lunching with my team at some high end restaurant, when I got a chance to overhear some bitching stuff going on, on an adjacent table. "You know, Gupta ji’s daughter ran away with one of her college friends. They were apparently caught in some farmhouse near Lonavala". I know I was wrong in enjoying at other’s expense, but perhaps they were dumb enough to talk about this so loud. Fake US accent, loads of make up just to cover their heavily wrinkled face and shit talk, come on, you can do better.

The kids are perhaps the worst of the lot. Gone are those days when a Nokia 3315 was considered a status symbol. The iPhone’s, the iPod’s, the Xbox’s ruined this generation. Steve Jobs, you surely owe an apology, just like Mark Zuckerberg. While I was busy stalking some random chicks on Facebook, I accidentally discovered a community titled “I was born in the 1980’s, the last generation with common sense”. Probably the owner of the community must have had siblings who belonged to this stupid generation. And probably, their parents have a hand in making them such douche bags. I mean, why do you have to pamper them even when they have acted like assholes. Beta, Please don’t do that, Beta, Please eat your food, I mean, can’t you scold your kids in Hindi? Can’t you just stop pampering them?

As a kid, I had been caned a lot. And a lot means, A LOT. Belts, scale, broom, comb being some of the gadgets used for teaching me a lesson every now and then. Frequent caning made me obdurate and shameless; two qualities which really helped me cope up with serious issues like poor grades and ragging. I had read this somewhere, The greatest pleasure in life is in doing things which others say you can’t do. Thanks to my parents, I modified it to The greatest pleasure in life is in NOT doing things which others say you can’t do, and I call it the middle finger logic. Had my parents acted like the parents these burger kids have, I would have committed suicide long ago just because I scored 06/25 in a Chemistry Test, or when I was asked to recite stories from that distinguished author Mastram in front of an entire Nesci crowd.

In short, the world is a really fucked up place. And it’s getting worse each day because of people like these.

Peace !