A trip on the Indian Railways

Only a man with balls can travel on this train

“Gaadi bula rahi hai..Seeti baja rahi hai…Chalna hi zindagi hai…Chalti hi jaa rahi hai”. This Kishore Kumar number,so beautifully describes the essence of life and one of the lifelines of modern India. Indian Railways, have been uniting this country since 1853, much before Cricket and Bollywood came into the picture.

I have traveled wide and across this vast nation, courtesy Indian Railways. Be it to the extreme northern parts of India, or the down south, or the colorful west, I have been lucky to taste flavors from every nook and corner of this country. I remember each and every train journey I have ever made, because each one has been a special one. New experiences, new memories, distant lands, beautiful landscapes, different people, interesting discussions, in a nutshell, every little thing has been worth treasuring. May be someday, before I die, I would love to travel in the Himsagar Express. 3700 kilometers from Jammutawi to Kanyakumari, that would be one hell of a journey.

It’s easier to get a Congress ticket to contest elections in Bihar than get a railway ticket. I don’t suffer from amnesia, but I can’t recall exactly, when was the last time I booked a confirmed ticket by myself. Thanks to the rigged IRCTC website, I have never been able to book a train ticket at 8 in the morning after sacrificing my ever so precious sleep. And this is the exact situation, when you run from every pillar to post in search of a travel agent to get you a traveling ticket, even willing to shell out bucks to get that ever elusive tatkal ticket. Excellent strategy Indian Railways, no wonder runs into profits each passing year.

Analyzing the reservation chart happens to be one of the best ways to spend time while waiting for the train to move. I do it every time, and I know every guy does this, checking the names of the co-passengers in his compartment. While "F-22" brings immense joy, "M-55" kills the very idea of a fun journey. The worst combination, "M-55" accompanying the "F-22".And you know that very instant, that your chance to write your own desi DDLJ has just been screwed.

Never in those 4 years, when I used to travel from college to home during vacations, I could locate a single “F-22” in my compartment. I was never lucky as a kid, Engineering didn’t help either.  May be it was during these pathetic train journeys, that I started hating kids altogether. Sleeping during the day, conserving their energies for non-stop crying throughout the night, seriously W.T.F.? Hope science comes up with a mind boggling invention sometime in the future, where we get readymade kids aged 3 and above. At least they are tolerable, unlike the infants.

Uttar Pradesh and Bihar is where I have done most of the traveling. Chances of meeting an old weirdo uncle traveling in the same compartment as yours are pretty high. The best thing, these guys are pretty obsessed in knowing your caste/religion. Questions like, “Aur Papa ka naam kya hua??” are bound to arrive, even Shoaib Akhtar’s bouncers are easier to handle than questions like these, with 4 other weirdos waiting patiently for your reply. These multi-talented guys are experts on almost everything, ranging from Obama’s foreign policy, to Mallika Sherawat’s nagin avatar in “Hisss”, Man, you can just sit there and admire. (On a totally different note, I am planning to watch “Hisss”, first day first show, needs some volunteers for company. Totally in love with Mallika’s new look)

It would be extremely unfair not to mention the special “chai waala” on this post. “Chai chai” in that very special nasal tone in the wee hours of a cold morning, can make anybody’s day. Who can forget the “magazine waala” carrying all those cheap Hindi novels scanning the compartments for potential customers? “Sir, woh waali bhi hain..Dikhaaon kya”? And even if you desperately wanted to buy it, the staring eyes prevent you to do so.

The journey has always been as beautiful as the destination.Meeting new people,discussing intense issues over numerous cups of tea, "the special samosa", the amalgamation of different cultures, I must admit, India can best be discovered on a long, beautiful train journey.