Night at an Airport

Disclaimer : The blog posts are meant for the sole purpose of entertainment and humor. Please do not attach personal emotions to whatever I say, and even if you do, I would not be responsible for any heart breaks or emotional break downs.

I am back, to the same place, roughly after a 10 months hiatus. And guess what, nothing has changed. Not every time you walk into an airport, expecting mind boggling changes, but Kolkata airport, for once, just once, could you surprise me a little?

I was in for a little surprise myself when I walked into the Pune Airport earlier in the day. Apparently, my flight to Kolkata via Hyderabad was cancelled due to non-availability of the aircraft. While I shivered at the idea of shelling out close to 15K bucks on a new booking, Jet Airways had a bigger surprise for me. Not only did they manage to find a seat for me on a Mumbai bound aircraft headed for Kolkata, they actually upgraded my ticket to a business class one with no additional charges whatsoever. As luck would have it, I had a sneak peek at richness.Trust me, it's beautiful.

The sad little place

Anyway,coming back to the topic. There are awards for the best airports in the world, isn't there any award to actually identify the worst airports on the planet? I believe only Chennai and probably Pune can give Kolkata a run for its money. While Mumbai, Delhi, Hyderabad and Bangalore have grown significantly over the years to provide top of the shelf facilities to the passengers, sadly Kolkata and Chennai seem no where close to the pole position.

The only difference I could notice this time around were the new billboards for Reliance and Bank of Baroda, for everything remains just the same when I first visited this place some 6 years back. The same old internet/snacks cafe which charges you 80 bucks an hour, as if the lines are drawn straight from 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, California, United States (Google Headquarters, for people too lazy to Google). Trust me, I have paid nearly half of the same while I surfed Desibaba and those other crappy sites on fucked up dial-up's in the early 2000's. There are practically no places to hang out, with a lone CCD located outside the airport. Even the domestic one at Mumbai has one,close to the departure gates.

Shitty dirty toilets, constant chattering and people acting as nuts are probably the other reasons why I hate to spend a night at this place. Who the hell gets themselves clicked in front of the conveyor belt while picking up their luggage? Thanks to my stars, for making me believe that dumbfucks do exist. I had a sudden urge to go to that lady, and politely request her to sit on the moving conveyor belt while I clicked her picture out of nothing, but pure generosity. But, I am still unsure about how her husband would have reacted to my proposal.

Perhaps, the only solace this time around were the bong chicks and yes...Riya Sen. I guess she had come to Kolkata via a Kingfisher flight from Mumbai. There was no hoopla around her, no mad rush for autographs or anything. She looked a bit old compared to what I saw in that short movie opposite Ashmit Patel. Anyway, who cares. It's Christmas time, and with a lot of colleges closing down for the new year, there were quite a few "patakha's" on my flight. Sadly, as an engineering graduate, I have learnt over time and plenty of experience, that while bird watching is an art, bird hunting is a pain in the ass.

I am still optimistic that Kolkata would surprise me someday. Someday, I am hoping to see some light at the end of the tunnel. And please better be quick. 2012 is round the corner.

And yeah, by the way, Merry Christmas people ! Have fun !